Petreaus Congressional Testimony Awards

I had the chance to watch some of the hearings on Capital Hill and some of the aftermath. Here are the awards for Congressional good, bad and ugly. General Petraeus is considered the best and brightest leader in the U.S. military. He literally wrote the book on counterinsurgency for the U.S. forces. He is quite impressive and I think gave well thought out testimony that showcased both the good and the bad.

Biggest Blowhard Award – John Kerry: gave long and tortured analogy questioning General Petreaus’ integrity by comparing him to General Westmoreland testifying before Congress in 1967. For John Kerry it is always about his hatred of the U.S. as seen through the lens of Viet Nam. Oh yeah, he threw McNamara in there too.

Most Articulate Blowhard Award – Barak Obama, you’ve got to admit, he’s smooth. I think he might of originally been against the war. Oh that’s right, he’s told us 6,000 times!

Worst Ad Hominem Attack Award – Tie - Hillary Clinton and Harry Reid: both called General Petraeus a liar.

Political Theatre Trumping Information Gathering Award – Every member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee: when the camera panned out every single Congressman had left by the time the last House Member was due to speak/question.

Most Unstable Rant Award – Barbra Boxer: went on a wild rant that used up all of her “questioning time”. It was complete with an avalanche of presentation boards. She crammed a 20 minute presentation into 5 minutes attacking everything about everything, aids frantically putting up and taking down presentation materials. Many of the Congressional members ran out of time but the Chairman always allowed General Petraeus or Ambassador Crocker to answer, except this time. The Chairman looked at General Petraeus and said, “General, why don’t you just respond to this one in writing later”.

Most Incoherent Award – Tie - Senators Kennedy and Byrd: You could only see the top of Senator Byrd’s head as he leaned over his speech while an aid reached over to move the microphone as his head bobbed around. It’s a long time since his spry days as a member of the Klu Klux Klan. Kennedy was, well Kennedy.

Wackiest Protester Award – There was a collection of protesters, all middle age women, that were wearing pink crowns that looked like they were cut out of pink construction paper. Periodically one of them would stand up and start loudly yelling something unintelligible. As the Capital Police would drag the protester out of the committee room she would yell at the top of her lungs, “AHHHHHHH, AHHHHHH…” I’m not sure they helped their cause as much as they think they did.

Most Irrelevant Political Theatre Award – Russ Feingold: demanded that General Petraeus provide his views and perspective and the allocation of global resources in the war on terror in Africa, Afganistan and other far flung parts of the world. When General Petraeus patiently explained that his theatre of operations was Iraq and he was not in a position to comment on these global issues Senator Feingold made a loud and exasperated display of accusing General Petraeus of refusing to provide relevant testimony.

Strongest Preemptive Attack Award – Carl Levin: as Chairman, read a long statement discrediting all parts of General Petreaus’ testimony before the General even gave his testimony.

Goofiest Smirk Award – Joe Biden: he always wins this one.

Most Bitter Award – Hagel: what is the chip this guy has on his shoulder?

Most Despicable Ad Hominem Attack Award – MoveOn.org: for calling General Petraeus a traitor to his country.

Liberal Media “Friends & Family Rate” Award – The New York Times: the regular rate for a full page ad in the NYT’s is $182,000. It was disclosed today that the rate MoveOn.org was charged for the “General Betray Us” ad was $65,000, an enormous discount. Hummm….

Best Personal Reminiscence Award – Senator Webb: rambled on and on about his personal military service in the Marines, his journalistic experiences in the Middle East, and his son’s fighting in Anbar province last year. I don’t remember if he actually ever asked a question.

Ineffective Democratic Spin Machine Award – Dem spin machine: accused Petreaus of “cherry picking” statistics to paint a positive picture of the troop surge. They said that he did not testify about the high rate of unemployment in Iraq, the fact that many legislators have resigned, that there is still limited electrical power, etc. Huh? It is General Petaeus. He is there to provide an update on the impact of the troop surge, not report on mega-watts of electricity.

Biggest Misinformation Award – General Petreaus refuted an urban political myth that the U.S. is arming the local tribes in the provinces. Emphatically not true.